I'm not asking for permission

Lately I've decided to adopt a new mindset around what I choose to do.

I've noticed that throughout my life I have sought approval. Now this initial way of thinking likely started as a child because it was a necessity for survival and safety. As a boy I needed to ask permission to do things because there could be danger at the destination I was seeking to go.

This is natural and I'm thankful that at a young age I learned to ask for permission.

However as we grow I'm learning that there needs to be a level of tenacity and proactiveness planted so that it can grow and be very beneficial as one gets older and more mature.

Asking for permission as a teenager is important for the same reasons as a child. It's to ensure that parents/guardian can ensure the safety and survival of the child. I would say that it is at this age where the tenacity should be delicately nurtured for good.

For me it was engrained that I continue to ask for permission. I didn't need to be reminded of that. And when I was in college 'asking for permission' may not have been overt but the underlining desire to want approval from others was definitely there.

This is the concern that I'm trying to make clear. If seek permission is done because one is desiring approval, I would argue that permission is a crutch, making the person have a dependency on approval. But if one is to be independent, they must not ask for permission for approval sake, but rather seek counsel for wisdom sake.

I think what I'm trying to say is that as one is mature enough to know and understand how to be safe and survive themselves, they should know when it is best to ask for permssion versus asking for counel.

There is a whole paradigm that is influence by culture that I'm not mentioning here as it relates to my black american culture and church culture so I'm making note of it to reference it - perhaps this could be another post.

In the dependency stage of life, one must ask for permssion because their saftey and survival depends on it. And if one is interdependent, then they will seek counesl, but what about one who is independent?

Perhaps that where this individual will need to be discerning to decide whether or not to ask permission or seek counsel.

I would say those that are independent and interdependent with dependents under there care should be the ones to help them get to the point of being independent to make these kinds of decisions.

The individuals with this kind of authority e.g., parents, should do what they can to help their dependents with decision making instead of giving their dependents the answers. This should hopefully build resilience, instill wisdom and trust and make their children well rounded.

This is a subject that I would like to explore further for sure.